Infertility Warrior: Bianca

Today on the blog I want to introduce you our infertility warrior Bianca. Bianca is a mom to two year old twins born via egg donor surrogacy in 2017. She is also a published author of several books detailing her journey through Infertility. We are thrilled to have her here today to tell her story and answer a few questions.

Q: Tell us a little about your infertility journey.

It was a over 13 years of trying to conceive, 8 rounds of IVF, silent miscarriage at 12 weeks (baby’s heart stopped) and I had to do an evacuation procedure, steroids, intrallipids, laparoscopy due to endometriosis, hysteroscopy  to check (and correct) my womb, ERA testing, endometrial scratches, 4 different countries for treatments, 14 embryos transferred, own eggs, donor eggs, donor embryos, acupuncture, Chinese medicine, fertility massages, reiki, lymph drainage and probably a page more of stuff that I can’t think of right now but has been documented in my books – and then finally our twins were born via donor egg surrogacy in Ukraine in July 2017.

Q: What has been the hardest part?

Having unexplained infertility. One cannot attempt to fix or accept unexplained. There has be an explanation – it just wasn’t found. Recently I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, an auto immune disease that attacks the thyroid. This can cause infertility and implantation failure during IVF. Apparently one can have it for years without being diagnosed. Also, testing for Hashimoto’s is not a standard thyroid test so many endocrinologists don’t test for it if the thyroid is balanced (as mine was during IVF). You can have Hashimoto’s without having an under or overactive thyroid. I will never know for sure now if this was it.

Q: What has been the best part?

Finally getting my boys! In addition, meeting so many amazing, wonderful, brave and inspirational women going through the same thing. The community is very loving and supportive and I have made life long best friends!

Q: Where are you now on this journey?

Trying to navigate motherhood with the wildest toddler twin boys!

Q: What is one question you wish people would stop asking?

Whether my boys are from my own eggs or donor eggs. While I have always been very open about every part of my fertility journey, nearly every person who is not in the infertility community asks me whether my boys were my eggs or not when they hear that they were born via surrogacy. I do understand that not many people understand the assisted reproductive process, especially surrogacy and they are naturally curious, but I still find it very rude, irrelevant and intrusive by someone not on a fertility journey.

Q: Anything you have learned that you would like to pass along?

So much! I think every person going through infertility and IVF and/or surrogacy is constantly learning and as mountains of info to pass on to those following in their steps.

So, I will choose just one thing and say… decide on your ultimate goal. The questions I asked myself was, is my goal to be pregnant or to be a mom? Is my goal to pass on my genetics or to be a mom? Not everyone will have the same answer and that’s ok. My goal was definitely to be a mom, so I had to open myself up to other opportunities for my dream of being mom to come true. If I got stuck on just using my own eggs or just being pregnant, I wouldn’t be living my dream. There’s only so much my body could do and only so much science could do, and the originals paths weren’t leading anywhere so the path had to change.

Q: Anyone or anything that has inspired you along your journey?

All the women going through this traumatic experience of infertility inspire me every day at how brave, fierce, resilient, focused, kind and caring they are. They are truly inspirational and wonderful ambassadors for pushing through and overcoming obstacle after obstacle in life.

Q: Any resources or other accounts you would like to share that you found helpful during or after your journey?

Oh so many! To name a few:

·       Monica Bivas IVF Coach, Mentor & Public Speaker
·       The IVF Journey
·       Kate Davies Award Winning Fertility Nurse Consultant & Natural Fertility & PCOS Expert
·       Elisabeth Manning Fertility Coach & Mentor
·       Sharon La Mothe Surrogacy Consultant
·       Gabriela Rosa Natural Fertility Specialist
·       Lori Shandle-Fox Author of the hilarious and relatable book, Laughing is Conceivable

Q: Where can people find out more about you (Facebook, Instagram, etc.)

My Facebook Pages:

My Instagram:

My blog (will be revamped in 2020!):

My Books (available on Amazon in various formats):

IVF A Detailed Guide

My Ukrainian Surrogacy Journey

The Highs & Lows of My Infertility

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